Tag Archives: Mental Health

To Write is to Heal

It’s about storytelling. Crafting beautiful lies on a foundation of honesty to reveal magnificent truth. But also, it is about healing. Tending to open wounds and hungry demons. It is about keeping ghost and shadows in their proper place; in … Continue reading

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Whatever Happens, Happens

The day unfurled like a blank scroll waiting to be written; waiting to record my future. I lifted the quill and began to write in prayer. Our Father’s and Hail Mary’s preluded a discussion with God – asking for the … Continue reading

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Panic Attack

It has been months since I’ve had a panic attack. Months since being gripped in an irrational paralyzing terror. Today, at the worst possible moment, I found myself in the agonizing throes of fear, anxiety, and panic. This morning I had a … Continue reading

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What You Taught, But What I’ve Learned

Forgiveness is something sought; asked for. You told me it was something I had to give regardless of whether or not the offender wanted it, or believed they even needed it. It set up a system in which perpetrators could … Continue reading

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The First Wall

It has been a rough morning. My body is still adjusting to a dramatic change in medication. I ache. My mind feels clouded. Replaying in my head are the words, I CAN’T DO THIS! I’m staring at the first wall. Myself. My … Continue reading

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The Year of Mercy and Forgivness

Dear Friends, A new year is upon us. Hallowed and blessed is this opportunity for us to learn to love ourselves and daily kick the shit out of our demons. You are wonderful. Beautiful. Brave. Stay strong; know with certainty … Continue reading

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Dive In

Dive Into this Blood on the floor; Resuscitation. Heart beating pulsation; Perfectly timed compression. Light Dimming and winking out. In eyes that have never seen, But are so goddamned afraid. And I, Am terribly afraid. This ocean is too big. … Continue reading

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Looking Back: Calvary Chapel Hanford

“For such men are false apostles, deceitful workmen, disguising themselves as apostles of Christ. And no wonder, for even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light. So it is no surprise if his servants, also, disguise themselves as servants … Continue reading

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Inner Glow

Today, May light, Life, And love, Be yours. Let the dark cower In the presence of your inner glow. Beautiful. I swear, You have more strength Than you know.

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Leaving Church Ostracized and Discriminated Against For Her Disability

When she asked why I have PTSD, I told her that I was not comfortable sharing that with her. She then proceeded to tell me that if I was really a good Christian… if I REALLY trusted God, then there … Continue reading

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Broken Promises of the Mental Health Care System

The past few days have been filled with breakdowns and hospitals. I find myself desperately calling out for help, but it seems unless I threaten self harm, then no one is willing to help. Listening to news commentators and politicians … Continue reading

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Disregard…I’m Trying to Center Myself

There are nights, like tonight, when the anxiety is too much. It rises up like some primal fear telling you to run. I want nothing more than to make it stop. I can’t focus. My stomach is in knots. There … Continue reading

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