Tag Archives: Anxiety

New Shores

I’ve been without a computer for weeks now. It sits, carefully packed, in a box from our move. As my family and I have been rearranging our lives so completely, I just haven’t had time to make that box a … Continue reading

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This Time Feels Different

A new day.  Same job, different location; three states away. I’ve been doing this for over 12 years, but somehow this time feels different.  It’s like standing on a razor thin highwire  stretching out for an eternity. Below you are … Continue reading

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To See Change, We Must be the Change

In a world of 24-hour news it would appear as if the world is coming apart at the seams. Real life horror stories are played over and over again in a 30 second loop. Economic collapse, race wars,  youth violence, … Continue reading

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Whatever Happens, Happens

The day unfurled like a blank scroll waiting to be written; waiting to record my future. I lifted the quill and began to write in prayer. Our Father’s and Hail Mary’s preluded a discussion with God – asking for the … Continue reading

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Panic Attack

It has been months since I’ve had a panic attack. Months since being gripped in an irrational paralyzing terror. Today, at the worst possible moment, I found myself in the agonizing throes of fear, anxiety, and panic. This morning I had a … Continue reading

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To Pray For Those I’d Rather Not

“But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you.” -Jesus Christ, Luke 6:27-28 These are hard words. But… Several weeks ago, … Continue reading

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The Year of Mercy and Forgivness

Dear Friends, A new year is upon us. Hallowed and blessed is this opportunity for us to learn to love ourselves and daily kick the shit out of our demons. You are wonderful. Beautiful. Brave. Stay strong; know with certainty … Continue reading

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Dive In

Dive Into this Blood on the floor; Resuscitation. Heart beating pulsation; Perfectly timed compression. Light Dimming and winking out. In eyes that have never seen, But are so goddamned afraid. And I, Am terribly afraid. This ocean is too big. … Continue reading

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Looking Back: Calvary Chapel Hanford

“For such men are false apostles, deceitful workmen, disguising themselves as apostles of Christ. And no wonder, for even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light. So it is no surprise if his servants, also, disguise themselves as servants … Continue reading

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Inner Glow

Today, May light, Life, And love, Be yours. Let the dark cower In the presence of your inner glow. Beautiful. I swear, You have more strength Than you know.

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Leaving Church Ostracized and Discriminated Against For Her Disability

When she asked why I have PTSD, I told her that I was not comfortable sharing that with her. She then proceeded to tell me that if I was really a good Christian… if I REALLY trusted God, then there … Continue reading

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Broken Promises of the Mental Health Care System

The past few days have been filled with breakdowns and hospitals. I find myself desperately calling out for help, but it seems unless I threaten self harm, then no one is willing to help. Listening to news commentators and politicians … Continue reading

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This Ugly Broken Misfit Skin

This skin is an uncomfortably ill fitted soul covering. Worn down from years of battle scars, ink marks, and stretching itself beyond its means. A lesser concern to the yearning burning within to obtain the knowledge one’s self. Etched with … Continue reading

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Disregard…I’m Trying to Center Myself

There are nights, like tonight, when the anxiety is too much. It rises up like some primal fear telling you to run. I want nothing more than to make it stop. I can’t focus. My stomach is in knots. There … Continue reading

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It Hurts to Leave

Forgive this continous Walking away journey of roads. I never meant to leave you so entirely alone. I never meant to stay out in this cold. But I go where I am called That I might keep you safe. Love. … Continue reading

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