Whatever Happens, Happens

anxiousshark

464159c0fdb099af85b6d41949b30bf2The day unfurled like a blank scroll waiting to be written; waiting to record my future. I lifted the quill and began to write in prayer. Our Father’s and Hail Mary’s preluded a discussion with God – asking for the strength to let everything unfold as it was meant to unfold.

I put on my gym gear, hopped in the car, and drove to the gym to have one last go at my physical fitness test. After yesterday’s panic attack, I wasn’t nearly as confident when I started out. Anxiety lingered like a stalking monster, but I kept in mind the wisdom my wife offered last night before we went to bed:

goblin femaleWhatever happens, happens. We will be alright.

The first part of the test began. A time regiment of push-ups and sit-ups. Despite being sore from the day prior, despite the uncertainty and worry, I pumped out an exceptional amount of push-ups and sit-ups. I pounded them out as fast as I could exceeding my own expectations.

anxiousFinally it was time for the cardio. The day prior I was crippled by a panic attack; paralyzed by anxiety. I was nervous, so I simply kept reminding myself that I could do it because I had done it many times before.

The signal to start was issued, I stuffed headphones into my ears, crossed myself, and pushed off. My pace was solid. Strong. Worry attempted to edge into my thoughts, so I closed my eyes and moved forward – one step after another after another after another. Time ticked on. In my mind I pictured my family – the reason I do what I do; my strength and foundation.

In hurried pace I put distance between my thoughts and the fear of success and failure. I knew in the end, whatever the outcome, we would be okay. I glanced down at the ticking clock; ten minutes in and I had already passed my goal. I had already won! Everything from this point on was simply icing on the cake of success improving my overall score.

goblincoupleAs I crossed the finish line, I had surpassed my previous scores and made my best time ever.

Whatever happens, happens. We will be alright.

I gave myself time to catch my breath allowing my aching muscles an opportunity to recover. I left out feeling grateful that I could call my wife and tell her: we did it!

Thanks be to God.

 

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About Z.

Poetic pipe and cigar enthusiast rifling through the haunted memories of a not so distant past while openly wrestling with faith and God. A rambling writer with the misguided notion that he has something to say. His only redeeming qualities are his wife and children.
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