I know these bedsheets can’t hide my canyons,
Like I know that the flatlines of this silence
Will never cover the peaks of all this static.
Like I know you’ll never hear the high pitch hum
That robs me of all the potential of peaceful quiet…
-Z., Bedsheets and Canyons: Mostly
Bedsheets and Canyons refers to a line I wrote in a poem. The phrase itself means there are things about us we would rather hide away from the world, but they are so apparent no amount of effort can conceal them. Specifically it is a reference to the maddening depression, anxiety, and other issues I battle with every day.
I chose this title to remind myself of the strength and courage it takes to face my demons head on, and of the fruitless futility of trying hide them away. The way I see it, I can either fight everyday to become a better person, or pretend all is well and let the underlying issues fester and destroy the better parts of who I am.
I added the tag-line Stage Fright and Opening Songs to punctuate the primary purpose of this blog; to write and share poetry with the intent to hone my skills for future publication.
I’ve written poetry for much of my life -some of it bad, some of it really bad, but some of it pretty good and well received. Often I have been encouraged to put my work and myself out there for others to see, but out of fear of rejection and being told that I am absolutely horrible in something I’m incredibly passionate about, I never stepped out and took a chance.
All that changed during a seven month absence from home. I was away on business and found myself struggling with an overwhelming and self-destructive depression. Unable to get the help I needed, I turned again -after years of having set down my pen- to writing poetry. The act of writing gave me a sense of foundation; I felt like I could withstand the onslaught of memories, flashbacks, and all the other misery that comes with my mental instabilities.
It was in that place that I decided to pursue writing seriously, and made my first submission to a poetry journal (that I’m still waiting to here back from) titled, Stage Fright and Opening Songs.
My hope for writing, beyond the therapy of the process, beyond the desire for publication, is that it might one day be of some encouragement to any who find themselves facing down their own demons.